You might expect me to join-in, get on my soapbox and go off on why this movie shouldn’t have been released in the wake of September 11. I cannot do that. This movie was simply a really bad movie even before September 11, and now that the drama in our everyday lives has been so amplified, it makes this movie reveal just how slow, simplistic, and boring it is. I went in hoping for a "good" bad movie. I fully expected things to be blowing up (I like to keep my exploding buildings in the movies thank you very much.) I anticipated that this would be another entry into the exploding-action-picture genre. In an unprecedented move, I actually recommend that this movie needs MORE gratuitous violence (so it could even be entered into the aforementioned category.) It was so uninteresting and void of action that my only struggle was staying awake.

It’s not nice to make fun of the retarded so perhaps I should just stop right here because there’s just no sport in attacking this movie. My commendations to the art-director for strategically placing a photo of the freshly disintegrated wife and child in every single shot at Arnie’s (Gordy’s) house so we can really get the emotional point.

They say it’s "all in the marketing." Well, I might recommend that they market this flick as a comedy: key Ingredients:
Actually waiving in slow-motion just before your family is blown to smithereens.
A gigantic white Austrian male is able to go undetected in Panama.
Fire balls envelop people yet their hair isn’t even singed.
Rubber-made Natural Gas pipelines are handy and clearly labeled in case you need to create explosions in a pinch.
And the best ingredient of all: In an unprecedented move: A hub cap rolls out after the end of an explosion in a BIG-BUDGET movie. (Previously reserved only for no-budget films wherein the expensive explosion takes place off-screen and a hub-cap rolls in afterward.) Thanks for raising the bar.